Our sweet Otis,
4 weeks ago, right now, I was preparing myself for the procedure where they would take you away from me. I would no longer have the comfort of knowing you were here with me. I cried all night. When I wasn't crying, I was cleaning, doing laundry, doing dishes, taking care of your daddy. I was doing whatever I could to take my mind off of losing you. Now, I wish I had just laid down and held my belly, to cherish those last hours you would be here.
My sweet boy, we miss you so much. We love you more than you will ever know. Not a day goes by that we don't dream about you, about who you would've been, who you would've looked like. I dream of the holidays with you. Those are my favorite times of the year. I've always looked forward to sharing our holidays with our babies. Knowing you won't be here with us for our holidays is heart breaking. But, knowing you will be with Jesus and your cousins comforts me a little.
Your daddy thinks about you often. When he does, he reaches over and touches my wrist where your tattoo is :) We are finding ways to remember you with joy, rather than with sadness. I have a necklace with your name on it. When I think about you, I find myself touching your name. My new boss made me a bracelet with the colors we were using for your nursery and stuff. We have a memory box with all your pictures and mementos in it. We will continue to add things to it.
We miss you, sweet angel. We will forever love you. Give your cousins kisses from their mommies.
We love you so much, baby boy. To the moon and back! Hugs and kisses,
Mama & Daddy
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